A Year Later

I am not big on "anniversaries" of things, but I did happen to think this week about the fact that my masectomy was on October 2nd, a year ago. I remember October last year very well. The weather was beautiful and I enjoyed my month of recovery and relaxing.  That wasn't the last surgery I had to have, however. On November 15th I had emergency surgery to remove a tissue expander that had been placed where my breast was in order to try reconstructive surgery. Since that day, I am so glad that I did not choose to try reconstruction again. I ordered a prosthetic to put in a special bra, and I don't feel much different than I ever did. The only thing that bothers me sometimes is a little bit of itching, mostly after I exercise.

I have been on tamoxifen for almost a year. It is a medication that blocks estrogen. The only side effects I really have are bouts of extreme tiredness at times, and sometimes I get foot cramps. My oncologist says this is normal.

The thing I think about often is how God spared me from chemo and radiation. I have talked to some people who have relatives or friends who had stage 2 cancer, and the doctors recommended chemo- no questions asked. I know that many women have had chemo and survived and there is no right or wrong answer as to whether you should have it or not when you have stage 2. When it is stage 3 or 4, there is no doubt that people should have chemo, as it has already started to spread. For stage 1 and 2 it is often prescribed as a "preventative measure", "just to make sure" no teeny tiny cancer cell escaped.

I think if it as a balance of fears. Sometimes I am afraid of side effects of the tamoxifen. Other times I am afraid that if I don't take it, it could return, although most of the time I am at peace that God has taken care of it the first time and that He will keep it from re-occuring. I know that it does come back in some people, and a lot of that has to do with the type and stage of cancer.  My oncologist recently asked me to consider having my ovaries out, or shots to put me into menopause, because tamoxifen can have opposite effects on the ovaries. I think I'd rather stop taking tamoxifen if it comes down to that.

On a positive note, it is breast cancer awareness month. Before cancer, I didn't pay too much attention. Now I love seeing pink everywhere. I feel like when the NFL players or whoever wears pink or pink ribbons, they are doing it for ME! Almost everyone has known someone who has had breast cancer.

Every day, I am thankful for God's mercy. Hugs and prayers to any of you who are facing this scary disease or have a loved one or friend facing it. Please know there is support everywhere you turn. No one has to face this alone.

Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life

Years ago I bought a devotional by Charles Swindoll called "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life," and he had devotionals for each of the "seasons" we encounter in our lives. Winter is the season where we endure great hardship and at times we think we may never come out of it, but God surely knows when we have had enough ice and cold winds in our lives, for right after Winter comes the Spring. Spring is universally known as the time for new beginnings and new life and lots of hope for the future. Summer is a time to enjoy our blessings and be thankful for all we have been given.  It is also a time to bear much fruit and be a servant to others. Finally, fall signifies preparing our souls for another winter. We must make sure that we take the time to prepare for the winter by drawing closer to God and being spiritually ready for the next round of harsh weather conditions.

Those of us who live in the Midwest can definitely see physical signs of Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall and it makes it a bit easier to transfer these seasons to our lives.  In each season we can grow stronger, and hopefully when winter comes we will remember the hope, blessings, and preparation that God has done in our hearts to get us through those very tough times that come in the cycles of our lives.

I am so thankful that physically and literally, we are entering spring. I am doing well, back to my busy life as a mom and school counselor. I do a lot of thinking, and though life carries me quickly through each day, I want to make sure I pause and take time to de-stress by running, sitting on the couch, surfing facebook, reading and praying.

My oncologist says I am doing well, and in the future, he said I may want to consider having my ovaries removed, as they are a source of producing estrogen. I am waiting for the U.S. study to come out. I told him that I would like to see the study before I subject myself to another surgery.

Whatever season you find yourself in, hold on to the Lord's promises. While seasons change, He remains the same.